Drunk Aunt Randi Societal The Word 6 minute read

Drunk Aunt Randi on Arming Our Teachers


Let me tell you a lil’ somethin’ you may not have known about your drunk Aunt Randi:  I used to teach high school (I think that’s what started me to drinkin’ extra-like); so, when I speak about this idea of arming teachers with guns, I’m speaking with a little experience (unlike most of the times I speak on thangs).

I love da babies.  I love children.  I became a teacher because I thought that I could change lives.  But listen to me plain, had I been armed with a gun, I may have taken lives.  That is about the most horrible thing I’ve ever written—but it’s true.  Some kids are bad as shit nowadays.  I’m not talking, the “talkin’ when the teacher is talking, pass notes, write the answers to the test on your hand type of bad.”  I’m talkin’ the “I have a parole officer, got kicked outta three other schools, will walk in your class an hour late, smelling like weed and call you a bitch if you question me” type of bad.  And all it takes is one second for a stressed-out teacher to make a bad, impulsive decision about a bad kid when he or she is having a bad day.  Just one second.

The average kid is in school 25,000 seconds a day.  And they are in school with underpaid, over-worked, flawed humans.  They are in school with teachers who may or may not love children; and that very well may not love your child (let’s not pretend that everyone who is a teacher loves children or is even teaching as a first choice).  Again it only takes one second to make a devastating decision.  I’m admitting that there is a tiny chance that I could have (and even a 1% chance is too much).

Perhaps (and prayerfully) I would never have shot anyone; but there is no doubt I would’ve pulled that sucker out now and then.  There are times when teachers are desperate to get an unruly class in control.  Desperation mixed with the power found in a gun is a dangerous combination.  Sometimes, teachers feel almost desperate.

Desperation causes us to act out of character.  Hell, I love my own kids more than I love myself; but I, within the last year, have been angry enough with them that I have jacked them up against the wall as if they aren’t taller and heavier than I am.

And let’s just keep in real, no less ish happens at schools between teachers than happens in any work environment.  There are disagreements, love-entanglements, competition, etc.  Some teachers would be killing other teachers were they armed.  Oh –and those mean-ass school secretaries—gone.  Guaranteed, back to school nights would cause cops to be on high-alert; some parents will take you THERE (blaming you for the product of their wack-ass parenting).

And let’s be real those wack parents are also showing up strapped.  Where I am from, you don’t bring a knife to a gun fight.  If they know that they are about to meet with a teacher, who is armed; they are coming with a piece, as well.  Speaking of that, some students, metal detectors be dammed, will be strapped, as well.

The Idiot-in-Chief’s suggestion will undoubtedly cause a war-like atmosphere that will have students scared to even ask the lunch lady for more corn or packets of ketchup.  Those guns, carried to protect children against the bad guys, will be used by people who must make split-second subjective decisions about who is bad and who isn’t.

You do know what that means, my Sistas and Brothas, don’t you?: If teachers are armed, Black students will be killed disproportionately, undoubtedly.  Black students are disciplined 4 times the amount and more severely for the same offense as White students.  Should a bill be passed to allow teachers to carry guns, my two sons will be homeschooled (where the only thing they must be worried about is getting jacked-up now and then).

I know that a lot of White men have their ‘Civil-War, Cowboys & Indians, Lone Ranger’ fantasies (think George Zimmerman).  They dream of taking the country back, creating order by having heroes shoot up the bad guys; but the current crises ain’t TV., it’s real.  The country needs to release its inability to be honest about shit and figure out what in the holy hell is going on with deez teenage White boys.  Why in the hell are they shooting up schools, threatening to shoot up schools, committing suicide in school?  When Black boys started getting into gangs and gun violence in urban areas increased; there were task forces, D.A.R.E., an attack on rap music, three strikes, news conferences, and so on.  Folks blamed missing fathers: talk show after talk show questioned, “Where are the Black daddies?”

Muslim families are the target of travel bans, assaults and profiling all the time.  Do we really think a Muslim boy with Nikolas Cruz’s history of police incidents, threats, and Facebook posts would have been left alone?  The answer is “hell nah.” Just two years ago a young Muslim boy was ejected from school because his science project — a homemade clock — was deemed suspicious and threatening.  Worries about ISIS and extreme Islamists alarm conservatives and have led to discriminatory policies, legislation and enforcement — notwithstanding the fact that they and their children are MUCH more likely to be shot by a White male like Cruz. But hidden bias and outright racism seems to make folks blind to facts and looking honestly at their own.

Now, that White boys are wildin’ out suddenly no one wants to blame the perpetrators or their families.  How about we figure out what in the fuck is going on with deez White boys: where are their daddies and mommas? Did they not know these children had 20 guns? Who in the hell can say they were parenting their kids well when they have more ammunition than the A-Team: grenades, rifles, AK-47s, and such.  Why were these boys able to go untreated, undetained for years when person after person describes them as weird, stated that they said they were going to shoot-up the school, exhibited psychological problems?  Is it perhaps that we are biased?  Would we have allowed a Black boy to get away with such violent talk for so long?  Maybe we need to examine the culture of our country?  Or is it the Rock music?  What about the high use of opiates and binge drinking?  When Black individuals mess up, our entire race and culture is blamed.  When White boy after White boy kills innocent children, we are given solutions on how to better protect ourselves.

Just one ask:  Before we arm teachers with guns, guaranteeing that mainly little Black boys will be shot by teachers; can we try to address and look at what the fuck is up with deez teenage White boys?  Let’s help them. That’s how we help ourselves.

Drunk Aunt Randi

Aunt Randi’s hobbies are talking shit and drinking wine—preferably at the same time.


You Might Also Like...