Monday was my birthday. I love birthdays – not just mine – everybody’s.  When I am at a restaurant and the servers go to someone’s table to sing “Happy Birthday,” I am likely to join in or at least clap.

My Instagram bio says: “I’m completely in love with living – I just dig it.”  I really do.  I am fascinated with each day and I fall slightly in love with some part of many people.  So birthdays grant me the special opportunity to tell people how I feel about them.  I see a person’s birthday as a day set aside to let them know that they are special, that they matter, and that their presence on this earth and in my life are appreciated.

A birthday is also a time to say “Thank you.”  Thank you for life.  Thank you for another 365 days of lessons, of experiences, and of time with the people I love.  These 45 years have presented me with so many incredible, awesome (and sometimes challenging) experiences and life lessons.  Below are the 45 things I know for sure . . . I think.

1. You are responsible for your own happiness.
2. No matter what you do, some people are not going to like you anyway so you should feel free to do whatever the fuck you want to do (including cursing!).
3. You will be as happy as your unhappiest child.
4. Unhappy people cannot be truly happy for you.
5. Everybody has bad shit happen to them.  The effect that bad thing has in your life is up to you.
6. Fear is the root of most evil.
7. You cannot earn, educate, marry, ass-kiss or shuck & jive your way out of being Black (don’t know why you’d want to). Embrace it.
8. Black is beautiful.
9. You shouldn’t hang around people who make you feel as if you need to apologize for some aspect of who you are.
10. Everybody has a gift and a purpose.
11. Everything is relative, so stop bragging, stop comparing and stop competing.
12. No matter how much I shop I will never have enough to wear.
13. HBCUs rock.
14. President Barack Obama will be seen as one of the best presidents in history.
15. You should have friends who are older and younger than you. Actually, you should have a diverse set of friends. You will grow and learn from them in ways that you can’t imagine.
16. Losing 5 pounds after 40 is harder than losing 20 at 20.
17. Life will bring you to your knees. You will get back up.
18. No one owes you anything.
19. Don’t loan money that you can’t afford to lose.
20. Don’t put any bill in your name that you can’t pay yourself.
21. The dumbest thing a woman can say to a man is “I don’t need a man.”
22. Pets are a good thing.
23. Having great friends is the one of the best parts of life.
24. Having great sex is too.
25. And great wine.
26. And great food.
27. Music feeds the soul, says what you can’t express, can make the difference between a good day and a bad day; and a good party and a bad party.
28. Money is best spent on experiences rather than things.
29. Travel opens your heart and mind.
30. It is a myth that you will make time for what and who matters to you. I do not spend the time with my kids, husband, friends, on myself, or on my business that I would like.  All of these things are important; but time is not infinite.
31. College is a perfect time of your life because you have the benefits of being an adult, yet none of the bills and responsibilities (if you are lucky).
32. Loving yourself, flaws and all, is the most powerful thing you can do.
33. Who you choose to spend your time with presently, predicts your future.
34. Life is short. Live, don’t just merely survive. Live!
35. No matter how much time you have with your parents; when they die it will not seem like you had enough time.
36. God provides.
37. You will be challenged. Grow or you will experience the same challenge again.
38. You can’t change people, only yourself.
39. Lead with love and everything will else will fall into place.
40. You have to be open to receive. People often complain about what isn’t coming into their lives when the doors to their heart and mind are shut.
41. You need to have at least one person in your life who will tell you the truth.
42. When you die, what people will remember is how you made them feel, your character and the special times that you had together. They will not remember or care about your degrees, social organizations, what you wore, etc.
43. You should trust your gut.
44. I’m blessed. You are blessed.
45. I have so much more to learn.