I didn’t watch the R. Kelly Documentary. There’s nothing new. We’ve always known. Of course, I understand all the reasons why most of us who’ve been assaulted don’t tell. Almost no one is protecting us, Black women, — not the police, not society, not our families, not even other women.
It’s not surprising that so many women still support R. Kelly because we can’t evoke protection for our daughters, our friends, our sisters until we can say to ourselves, “ I am worthy of protection.”
WITHOUT WONDER
After Joy Harjo’s I Give You Back
By: Kira Allen
I release the comfort of your shield Doubt
your protection insulates me from risk
keeps my mouth shut
keeps me tappin’ my feet when I wanna dance
keeps me holdin’ in tears meant to flow
You feed on my blood Doubt
keep me from sensing my own skin
I give back to you Doubt the ghosts of my white ancestors
who lost their plantation in the Civil War
they who breed black skin as if horses not family
who still sow mistrust among us
So much distrust that both white and black doubt my preciousness
keep me at
keep me wondering why anyone wants to hold me at all
I renounce
the men who rip clench thrust and soil me
to prove how powerful they are
they who conceive me as nothing Can Go
I disengage you Doubt I choose to cast you out of my soul’s bedroom
Henceforth I consecrate the sacredness of my vagina
I renounce you Doubt
I renounce you
I renounce you
I renounce you
I recognize my right to celebrate
I relish my right to write
to rage
to dance
to cry
to crave
I reclaim my right to tenderness
to elevate
to educate
I delight in my right to love
I am accused of writing too much about racism and incest and rape
As if I dug through the archives of extinct words to discuss an unknown phenomena
I don’t friggin’ think so
I give you back the gag you crammed into my mouth Doubt
I give you back the sword of indifference
I can no longer act like I don’t care how people treat me
I can no longer act like I don’t care about myself
I refuse to give you the power to devour me Doubt
from the inside out
