Ronnie D’Virus: You Send Me Swangin’

I’m not saying that you are lyin’; but you sure as hell ain’t tellin the truth if you say that the world’s current situation hasn’t greatly affected you. It sure has affected me (more than I was willing to admit early on). If you are brave, I invite you to take a peek into what’s been happenin’ and how I’ve been feelin’ the last few weeks.

1. TRIPPIN’ 

If I sneeze, have a headache or a get a tickle in my throat; hell, let me just stub my toe or have an itch, and I think that the Rona done got me!  Likewise, if you sneeze, say you have a headache or have a tickle in your throat I worry that the Rona done got you.  This fear, my trippin, has helped me to successfully socially distance.

• KONDO-IN’

Marie Kondo has a series on Netflix where she teaches people how to throw out things they don’t need and organize the things they do.  I haven’t even seen the show; but I am getting my Kondo on.  I started with my make-up .  My closet is next!  I don’t know where this world will be at the end of all this; but I know I’ll be organized.

• INDULGIN’

Besides being organized, I’ll probably also be heavier when we are released from our homes.  I am eating.  I am eating like a 10-month old: hourly.  In addition, I’m drinking like a retired 70-year-old on vacation: early and often.

• ZOOMIN’ 

When I was a kid, Zoom was a show; now it’s a lifeline.  I have had days when I have Zoomed (video conferenced for those whom are unfamiliar with it) six hours a day.  I’ve come to understand how much humans crave some sort of contact – even introverts need to connect at least a little.

• SURFIN’

I am so thankful for those folks who have provided so much free-love online.  I have exercised, danced with Debbie Allen, enjoyed concerts by Anthony Hamilton and Erykah Badu, received so much joy from D-Nice, and taken online make-up and meditation tutorials.  There is lots to see and do – albeit virtually – and I feel fortunate for all of it.

• ATTEMPTIN’ 

I’ve been attempting to project manage this crisis.  I’m cool with going through life’s ups and downs; I just want a project plan to guide it.  For example, I accept – actually embrace- that we, this world, needs to go through challenging times to learn, grow, and change; but I’d like the professor to provide a syllabus please.  What are the objectives? What should I be learning (so I don’t have to repeat this lesson or this course)?  Most importantly, when is the class going to end? 

• SWANGIN’

I swing between complete optimism to utter pessimism.  One minute I’m thanking God for the blessing of the unexpected pause in life:  the time to spend with my nuclear family, to catch up on my to-do list, and to simply breathe.  The next minute I’m on my knees asking God when this will all be over and questioning why so many have to suffer.  For the most part, I am a person who believes that we all are being divinely cared for (even when it doesn’t feel that way); but I will admit, I’ve given a few side-eyes to the Universe lately. 

I swang between wanting to save every dime that I have because the world as I see it makes me feel so insecure; and wanting to take advantage of the great, online sales.

An addiction is when you want to stop doing something but you are uncontrollably drawn to do it.  I want to stop thinking, talking about and hearing about the coronavirus while I am concurrently and constantly thinking about, talking about and watching CNN coverage about the coronavirus.

If I’m being fully honest — I swang between wanting to save the world, talk to everyone about their issues, brainstorm solutions, be the person who provides guidance and encouragement; and wanting to save myself, my sanity, and my energy.

I also swing between wanting to take this time to workout extra hard, to write the great American novel, and fixing every problem; and wanting to curl-up in my bed, put the covers over me, and have surfing the television be my most rigorous activity of the day.  I’ve decided that both states are understandable and acceptable.  There are days when I kick ass and days when I lay on my ass.

Most of all, I’m ACCEPTIN’. I’m accepting that I am human, that I have the right to feel however I feel —  not just day-by-day but minute-by-minute.